Things I Want To Do Before I Die !

I was watching this movie called,'Dasvidaniya' today,which indeed is one of my favourite movies and I made my mind while watching the movie that I'm going to start writing all the things(and not just 10) I want to do before I die just after I finish with my movie..not in a single post,but will keep updating the list in newer posts.There had been many things I 'wanted' to do and have been successful doing them which I'm not going to mention here coz they are the things already done n not the things yet to do :P
Soooo..here I go:-

1.) A satisfying career

2.) Travel as many amazingly interesting places as i can

3.) Lay down on the sand at a breathtakingly beautiful sea-shore with my
hands wide open looking up at the sky and the water touching my feet and my mouth uttering the words over and over again-"I love you God and I love you life.Ah!! it's beautiful!" with a never-fading smile,followed by water-play,giggles and laughter

4.) My brother

This is it for now! ;)
Catchya laterzz Life!!

NOTE:List not in order of priority,but that of randomness.

sticky-notes of think-clouds

A letter to Dad..

Dear dad,

It's father's day today.but dunno why,i ain't missing you.But that doesnt mean,I don't miss you.I miss you but it's just that,I miss you at times so very random..travelling in a bus,when some stranger outta those many strangers,not necesserily sharing a glance or two,resemble you or when he shows a gesture,speaks out a word or more,a voice,a laughter,a smile,style of clothing,a posture or body proportions that resemble yours..I see you in  him.Sometimes,i hear you calling my name or some random phrasel speech reaching to my ears in your voice,especially when i'm home.I had been having dreams of you,where you were in extreme pain,crying for help in helpless child-like way and extreme tragic incidents taking place in context with you.But recently,after all those nightmares,I had a dream wherein,you were in a perfectly healthy n happy state and smiled n laughed and shared care with me and bestowed your love upon me.The very next morning I woke up,I knew in my heart that it was a good sign.Something good was about to happen and that your soul was or coming out of that despaired pain.And I was right.And only you know what I mean. :)

Dad,If I know what loving somebody forever means or is..it's because of YOU.I remember hugging you many times a day like I never have before,during those days when you were goin' through that suffering and pain,as if you were the only significant person in my life,as if loving and caring for you was the only best thing I could do and feel with all my heart.I remember the times,when you would hold me in your arms like a baby do to his mother and cry like a child and expected concern and care from me and I felt like never letting go off that grip.There were so many times when you were like a child to me and there had been times when i was your child.We both exchanged our roles some or the other way at consecutive times.We were mother and child to each other at different times with role-reversal going on all the time.How can I stop loving you dad and how can I remorse when you love me the same and maybe more.

Rest in peace!

And dear God sitting right next to him,Please take care of him.I love you too.

Love,

Your daughter

P.S. - I'm getting hiccups ever since the clock struck 12.i really hope,you're missing me dad while watching me constantly from the heavens up above.. :)

coincidently,wrote this one on the 14th of December,2k5..14th December =]

कुछ सपने 

जो कभी हीरे सी चमक

अपने में समेटे हुए थे,

वो न जाने

समय की पगडंडियों पर

चलते हुए से

कब धूल में सन गए,

आज फिर

समय और नीरसता

की बदौलत,

उन पर जम चुकी धूल

उनके असल,छुपे हुए से

व्यक्तित्व को,

वही चमक

जो धूल की बनाई

सीमाओं में

कहीं कैद सी हो गई थी,

फिर लौट रहे हैं!

हाँ! वो फिर लौट रहे हैं!

-----

Kuch sapne

jo kabhi heere si chamak

apne mein samete hue the,

wo na jaane

samay ki pagdandiyon par

chalte hue se

kab dhool mein san gaye,

aaj phir

samay aur neesarta

ki badaulat,

un par jam chuki dhool

unke asal,chhupe hue se

vyaktitv ko,

wahi chamak

jo dhool ki banai

seemaaon mein

kahin kaed si ho gai thi,

phir laut rahe hain!

Haan! wo phir laut rahe hain!

umm..wrote this one on the 6th of december,2k5 =]

एक कहानी,

जो कभी शुरू ही नहीं हुई

जो अभी शुरू नहीं हुई |

एक विश्वास,

उस कहानी को 'सच' में

तब्दील करेगा

उस कोरी कहानी में रंग

भरेगा |

एक मिलन,

जो कभी हुआ ही नहीं है

जो अभी हुआ नहीं है |

एक एहसास,

उस मिलन को संयोग का

साथी बनाएगा

उस संयोग को भाग्य में

संजोयेगा |

-----

Ek kahaani,

jo kabhi shuru hi nahi hui

jo abhi shuru nahi hui hai.

Ek vishvaas,

us kahaani ko 'sach' mein

tabdeel karega

us kori kahaani mein rang

bharega.

Ek milan,

jo kabhi hua hi nahi hai

jo abhi hua nahi hai.

Ek ehsaas,

us milan ko sanyog ka

saathi banaaega

us sanyog ko bhaagya mein

sanjoega.

I remember writing this one at about 12:45 am on the 13th of january,2k10 sitting on the stairs of my PG's balcony in the night all alone in a very frenzy mood(a time when I had become a slave to the irrational mood swings) watching the stars and down at the road which although was deserted at the time,but felt filled up with the symbolism of poetry..I remember the time when I wrote it because I had nothing to write on except for my cellphone..saved it as draft! =]

सड़को कूचों पर

ज़िन्दगी को चलता दौड़ता

देखती हूँ

विचारहीन सी मैं

विचारों की आपाधापी को

देखती हूँ |

बूढ़ी ज़िन्दगी को

सिगरट के धूएँ में उड़ता

देखती हूँ

अल्पकालीन जवानी को

दुपहिये पर बेफ़िक्र

देखती हूँ |

-----

 

Sadko koocho par
zindagi ko chalta daudta
dekhti hoon
vichaarheen si main
vichaaro ki aapaadhaapi ko
dekhti hoon.
Booddhi zindagi ko
cigarette ke dhooe mein uddta
dekhti hoon
alpkaaleen jawaani ko
dupahiye par befikr
dekhti hoon.

wrote this one on the 15th of October,2k5 :)

ज़िन्दगी,
जो चाहतें तुझसे बयाँ की
तूने आज नहीं तो कल
उन्हें पूरा किया
अक्सर कोई न कोई चाहत
दिल में ज़रूर आशियाना
बनाती है
एक चाहत अपने अंत तक
पहुँचती है
तो दूसरी चाहत दिल में
पैदा हो जाती है |
वो समय के साथ
चलती चलती
अपने अंत तक पहुँचती है,
और फिर एक और चाहत
उस की कमी को पूरा करती है |
चाहतें,ख्वाहिशें
तो कितनी आती जाती हैं
और तुम उन्हें उनके
अंजाम तक लाती हो
और मैं
मैं ये आना जाना
देखती हूँ,
महसूस करती हूँ,
और थोडा हस देती हूँ
अक्सर समझ से परे
भी होती हैं चाहतें |
तुम से एक चाहत को
पूरा करने की गुजारिश करती हूँ |
तुम समय और किस्मत का
साथ देती हुई सी
उन्हें अंजाम देती हो |
मैं
बस देखती हूँ |
चाहतो को पूरा करने की
तमन्ना अक्सर रहती है
बेचैनी साथी होती है
मैं और बेचैनी
साथ साथ चलते
पहुँचते हैं
उस मोड़ पर
जहाँ चाहत अपनी पूर्णता से
मिलती है
क्यों तब ख़ुशी से पहले,
संतुष्टि से पहले
असमंजस मुझसे मिलता है
मैं और वो
एक दूसरे की आँखों में
देखते
एक दूसरे के असतित्व को
निहारते
जाने कहाँ ग़ुम हो जाते हैं
चाहत के अंजाम को पाते हैं |
सही राह पर चलते चलते
फिर खो जाते हैं |
ज़िन्दगी!
चाहत और अंजाम
एक हो जाते हैं |

-----

Zindagi,

jo chaahtein tujhse bayaan ki

tune aaj nahi to kal

unhe poora kiya

aksar koi na koi chaahat

dil mein zaroor aasheyaana

banaati hai

ek chaahat apne ant tak

pahunchti hai

to doosri chaahat dil mein

paeda ho jaati hai

wo samay ke saath

chalti chalti

apne ant tak pahunchti hai

aur fir ek aur chaahat

uski kami ko poora karti hai

chaahtein,khwaahishein

to kitni aati jaati hain

aur tum unhe unke

anjaam tak laati ho

aur main

main ye aana jaana

dekhti hoon,

mehsoos karti hoon,

aur thoda has deti hoon

aksar samajh se pare

bhi hoti hain chaahtein.

Tumse ek chaahat ko

poora karne ki guzaarish karti hoon.

Tum samay aur kismat ka

saath deti hui si

unhe anjaam deti ho.

Main

bus dekhti hoon.

Chaahton ko poora karne ki

tammanna aksar rehti hai

bechaeni saathi hoti hai

main aur bechaeni

saath saath chalte

pahunchte hain

us modd par

jahaan chaahat apni poornta se

milti hai

kyun tab khushi se pehle

santushti se pehle

asmanjas mujhse milta hai

main aur wo

ek doosre ki aankhon mein

dekhte

ek doosre ke astitv ko

nihaarte

jaane kahaan gum ho jaate hain

chaahat ke anjaam ko paate hain.

Sahi raah par chalte chalte

fir kho jaate hain

Zindagi!

chaahat aur anjaam

ek hote hain.